i was 18 when i had my abortion. i had been dating the guy for nearly two years and for most of that time, i had been on the pill, but out of nowhere, my insurance stopped covering it and i had to see my obgyn to get a different prescription.

ironically, she was away on maternity leave so i had to wait two months before seeing her. that was all it took. when i found out i was pregnant, i was so scared. i had always believed in the right to have an abortion, even talked about it as an option with my boyfriend, but i never expected to have to make that decision for myself. i didn’t want to do it. i looked into adoption, but i realized that if i had the baby, i couldn’t give her away. i knew i wasn’t in a good place emotionally or financially to take care of a child, especially with my boyfriend pressuring me to get the abortion, making veiled threats to leave me if i didn’t. in the end, what made my decision was completely unselfish, or at least i believe so. i had been partying more than the average college student, in the month or so prior to finding i was pregnant. there was so much alcohol, weed, pills, cigarettes, even bath salts and cocaine. i knew there was a good chance that my baby would have been affected by my stupidity. so i had the abortion. i resented myself, my boyfriend had a change of heart and started to resent me as well. he told me it was all my fault and i killed his baby. it was maybe two weeks after that i tried to kill myself. luckily some friends got me to the hospital in time to get my stomach pumped, but i was in the icu for a week and then checked into a mental institution for another week. this was the turning point for me. when i got out, i moved to a different state to live with my mum, (my boyfriend couldn’t handle long distance, i finally realized how abusive he had been to me), i started going to cosmetology school, and i started forgiving myself. it is now two years later, i have graduated from school, i have a fantastic job doing what i love, and i have found myself again. i realize that i wouldn’t be in this position, if i hadn’t had an abortion. now i have a career and self confidence and i’m in love with someone who is respectful and good to me. i’m in a place now, where i would feel comfortable bringing a child into the world.