my dad molested me until i was 13. he didn’t impregnate me but i believe growing up that way made it hard for me to say no. at 16 on a rare occasion when my boyfriend’s mom was out we were looking forward to sex. i said no when he told me he forgot condoms, but he made me feel like shit so i said yes. i was later told i had no one to blame but myself.

i asked him for money and a ride for an abortion, but he was broke and busy, so i found a way myself. it was 1983. i lived in virginia, which now has a parental notification law, but i would rather have killed myself than told my abusive parents i was pregnant. i meant it. i attempted suicide 2 years later, thinking i could not live with what my father did to me. that’s why i didn’t even consider adoption. that and the fact that i myself was adopted in into an abusive family.

i truly believe i wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for safe, affordable, confidential services, something that hardly seems to exist anymore. i have had much healing and happiness in my life, and i have 2 wonderful children. i owe those people so much. i feel like crying every time i hear of a clinic closing.