i was 19 years old, and i was using an iud, condoms, and the depo-provera shot, all at once. i felt sick every morning, and my breasts were sore, but i never even considered i might be pregnant.

after all, i’d done everything i was supposed to. it took 10 weeks for me to take a pregnancy test. i never thought it would be positive; i only took it to reassure myself. i took 4 more tests after the first one, and they all came back with little blue + signs. it was devastating. they say you love your baby im世界杯2022亚洲预选赛b组 tely–but that isn’t true. i’ve never hated anything as much as i hated that clump of cells in my uterus. it felt like a parasite, it felt like a tumor. it was unwelcome and it was growing inside my body. i felt disgusted. how could i ever have let it become a person? no child should be hated by its mother from the very beginning. when i do decide to have children one day, i want my reaction to the little blue + sign to be joy, not fear. i got an abortion simply because i did not want to be a mother. i was not ready. of course i don’t regret it. i don’t think about it anymore.